Be Holy. Serve God. Be Blessed.


Tightly Wrapped Bouquet

October 24, 2018

Can I just be honest and tell you about the days of the scattered brain.  When I didn't know how to connect the thoughts I was having and would feel like I was in a million pieces.  Just like these flowers in pieces and scattered everywhere.  One day I realized I was sitting in the same spot for about thirty minutes trying to figure something out.  When I realized what was happening, I said, just forget it Tracy.  Then I started laughing, because I could not remember what I needed to forget. 


I am grateful during these times for the internet.  I easily looked up other women, going through breast cancer prevention. Women who had similar treatments, medications and there they were, testimonies of other's with scattered brained.  I said, okay Lord, I know that You will get me through this and show me exactly what I need. 


"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19


I knew at some point there were things I would not be able to do.  Especially when people started asking me, "Do you have this...did you do that...remember you said you would...." Honestly, I could not remember.  I, with God on my side managed to get through.  Then, I took responsibility and resigned from everything the Holy Spirit led me to step down from.  


"Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track."  Proverbs 3:5-6 (MSG)



It was hard, but I had to do it.  And now the stress is gone of feeling like I am not doing my job, or contributing like I should.  I knew if  I didn't listen to the voice of God and continued to do things for man; the pieces would never come together. You have to stop and take care of yourself, period.  Now, with prayer and discipline (saying, "No") God keeps me together like a tightly wrapped bouquet. I am so grateful and going along with God's flow, being serious about my limits and abilities but also finding humor in myself. This is but for a season.  















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